Men, husbands and sacrifice

A recent post on Facebook got a bit of attention and I have had some men talk to me recently saying they desire to be a better husband. It is also a big purpose for my life to lead men to be better husbands and fathers.

With that in my consciousness, I read this excerpt from The Explicit Gospel today. "The hard-won lesson I've learned in marriage, something I'm very grateful for knowing now, is that there are some thing in my wife's heart and some struggles she faces in life that I cannot fix. It doesn't matter how romantic I am; it doesn't matter how loving I am; it doesn't matter how many flowers I send, or if I write her poetry, or if I clean the kitchen, or if I take the kids and let her go have girl time- I am powerless to fix Lauren (Matt's wife). 

Doing all those things to minister to her are right and good, but there are things in my girl I just can't fix, things that are between her and the Lord. Just like there are things in me that she can't love me enough to overcome. But the only way I would ever have learned this is the try, try, try- try to fix her, let her try to fix me and then watch the escalating conflict that takes place when we try to do that."

This excerpt comes from a chapter where Chandler is talking about the Old Testament sacrificial system and manipulating God or earning something from Him. All of those things that he lists in this excerpt are things that I have told men to do, they are things that I strive to do for Jen on a consistent basis. But many times when we do these things we do them out of self centered motives. When they are rooted there, they are worthless. In fact, they are worse that worthless they are counter productive. These actions flow out of a desire that is birthed by the gospel. Don't quit reading now, this is the important part.

The spiritual well being and communion of her heart with God is the primary focus of our husbandhood. The spiritual well being of my bride and her pure communion with the Father is at the center of my ministry. What I mean is that there is nothing more important in what I do that the spiritual well being and pure communion with the Father. Preaching, parenting, vision casting for church, teaching Bible studies, leading men, blogging, and anything else I spend my time doing are secondary at best to that one thing. Because I know this and because I preach it to myself 20 times a day, it has become part of me.

 So I spend my day in prayer for my bride. Prayer is not always, "Dear God...blah blah blah...Amen." Many times it is just carrying burdens, a thought directed to the Spirit of God or just thinking about her in a prayerful mindset. I also have a longing in me as a result to read scripture to her as we go to sleep each night. These things usually turn me into the sort of husband who does the things that Chandler listed in the excerpt above.

Take a moment now to pray for your wife and pray for God to put her on your heart to pray for without ceasing.

Thanks for reading.