Bad Breath and Gum

This week I was in a room of several hundred church planting types and we listened to a respected teacher talk about gospel centered repentance. At the conclusion we were led in a liturgy of spoken corporate repentance. We were then asked to gather in groups of two or three to get real with our confession of sin.

As we were being instructed in the specifics of this the guy in front of me pulled out a pack of gum and popped in a piece. My mind instantly went to these thoughts…I am going to be physically close to another man in just a few seconds, and my breath really stinks, I need some gum, but this moment is too spiritual to ask him for a piece.

The guy that was in my group was a friend I am getting to know. He went first in his confession and said something that was very much on the surface. I went next and said something that was also on the surface. In the awkwardness of the moment God convicted my heart.

I told him about the thoughts I had about gum. I told him that God is teaching my heart about DEEP repentance. We are so good at confessing before God and men the sins that people can see. But we are not very good at getting the core problem of sin. We are good at putting in a piece of gum to cover up our bad breath.

But at the heart of me is this:: I will never quit struggling with lust. I will never quit choosing self. I will never quit getting angry when things do not go my way. I will never empty myself and truly crucify myself. I will always be in the tension of Romans 7:15-20 where Paul says, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”

At the core of me is sin, death and depravity. I am left with two options. The first is to throw my hands into the air and give up. I will never attain my goal. The second is to embrace the gospel. To fall in love with a grace giving God who loves me in my depravity.